Some thoughts on moving and settling in Australia

Moving from the UK to Australia is relatively easy as big moves go.

Yes it's literally the other side of the world, but the language is (kind of) the same,
you can drive on the same side of the road, the food is similar,
the education system is not that different,

and to top it all the sun shines most days.

However...when you move away from your home to another country you leave behind a lot of your history. Your whole sense of  'belonging' shifts and it takes a while to get used to the fact that you have only existed in this new place for such a short space of time.

 Everything that you have done up to this point was part of something else.

Your home, your career, your education, your family traditions...

what feels like your whole identity belongs elsewhere.

It takes a little while to get used to the fact that when you go to the local shop no-one knows you.

When you drive around the place, no-one waves in recognition.

You feel invisible for a while...

Keeping in touch with your old life is a roller coaster - you want to hold onto everything that you know and that is familiar, yet you realise that you have to learn to live with new things...in new surroundings.

This was a big challenge for me... At certain times of year and when events happen thousands of kilometres away, the challenge returns.

Our move here was a positive one. We tested the place out for a year, liked what we saw, took a little while to weigh up the situation and made a decision to move based on the belief that it was a good place to bring up a family. There was no 'running away' from our old life, no feelings of having to escape. In fact, we were very happy living in rural England and enjoying small town and village life. Leaving that behind for something even better was bound to be a challenge.

However, it struck me recently that I have begun to settle here...

Slowly but surely I now feel part of this community.

I walk to school in the mornings and experience the odd wave from a passing car. I know the back roads and short cuts to places. My phone contacts include a painter, plumber and joiner!  I have work colleagues again, and friendships that I trust and treasure.

There is no magic time frame or formula to feeling settled in a place.

It -just -takes- time....

Even though for the foreseeable future Australia is my home, I don't want to let go of my old life - it is part of who I was, who I am, and who I'll always be. My challenge now is to hold onto it and keep the memory of 'life before Australia' alive for my daughter's sake.

You see, my history is entwined with Wales and being Welsh, and I was conscious when we lived in England that Sibs would not have the same exposure to this 'Welshness' that I had as a child. Now that we are here in Australia it's even more difficult to keep this as part of her life.

I continue to converse with her in Welsh but it pains me that her exposure is so limited. Once or twice recently she has asked me to repeat something in English...

Her life is an Australian life now - and I chose this for her so I can't really complain can I?

I think I am still having an internal battle with myself on how to accept this and to let her be the little Australian that she wants to be to fit in.

Of course I want her to feel settled here - to feel comfortable and secure. This is where she is creating her identity, but I also hope that she will have enough of an understanding of her heritage and history, (be that Welsh and English) so that as she grows up she feels some connection to that as well.

I wrote this post just over a week ago and never pressed 'publish'. I don't really know why, sometimes I write something and then it just doesn't feel right to 'put it out there.' Then something happened. On Tuesday night I went to the theatre and watched some talented dance students and choreographers put their souls into performances of contemporary dance. One piece was about a girl who struggled to find her identity as an Australian born Finn. The dance "Dirt" was the creative outcome of a Masters research project  - "Making Finnish connections with Aboriginal Land through Dance"

“This work emerged out of a desire to explore my connection to the land of my birth. I was born on Kalkadoon country, Australia and my cultural heritage is the Southern Savonia region and the Gulf of Finland. I am first generation Aussie born Finn.”
…Tiina Alinen

So much of the narrative that accompanied this powerful piece

and the messages portrayed in the dance struck a chord with me.

It made me think about the way that I am shaping Sibs's life; the way that I parent...

It made me question some things...

I don't want to change who I am and I don't want to change who Sibs is...

I just want her to understand where I came from, and for me to understand who she is

and to positively look forward to where she's going and who she'll become...